29 May 2008


Coletta Factor: Lost-current

Tomorrow we will see the Oceanic 6 get off the island. We will also find out who was (will be) in the coffin from last year's finale. Locke and Ben will try to move the island, using the Orchid somehow, and if we're lucky, the sky over the island will turn purple again. As it stands now, Sun and the baby are on the boat, while all the other O6 are at or headed to the Orchid. Also on the boat are Jin, Michael, Desmond, and a roomful of plastic explosives. We know Sun and Aaron won't be on the boat if it blows up, but I'm sure Jin will die, and probably Desmond, too. Michael has to live so he can die in the future and end up in that coffin. The long shot is that we will see Jacob finally and he will be Matthew Abaddon. 50-1 on that one, but I think it would make sense. Ben will go through the Orchid somehow and get transported across space and time to Tunisia, 9 months later. Earlier this season, we saw Ben off the island in the future and we saw his secret room with suits, cash, and passports, and assumed he could come and go at will, and maybe he could, but I don't think the island will allow him to come back this time. We haven't seen Locke in flashforwards yet, but I think Richard will reach out to him and they will merge the 815 survivors and the Others into a single community. This will probably take most of next season, it will be bloody, and there will be answers at the end. As far as the whole Claire-Christian thing, that's hard to figure out. Jack will leave the island not knowing that his father is alive on it, nor knowing that Claire is with her father. Where do the father and daughter go from here? Does Claire go back and Christian disappear? Is Claire going to die? Why do the Oceanic 6 have to lie?
That will be all. Happy viewing, I'm sure you'll hear about it from me tomorrow night.
Namaste, thank you.

24 May 2008

Adventures in Allston, part 6

I was walking down Brighton Ave tonight when a young couple approached. As I got closer, the girl jumped up on her boyfriend's back, piggy-back style. He hoisted her and took a few steps, looking at me, and said, "Dude, look how fat she is." The look in his eyes and his smirk told me that I was expected to find this hilarious, this guy insulting his girlfriend in front of a complete stranger.
Why is it funny? Why would you say something like that? Don't you have any respect for this woman, or any woman? Didn't your father ever tell you how to be a gentleman?

23 May 2008

Theories, Martian Wishes, and Predictions

Coletta Factor: irrelevant

The following is a mix of ideas and theories, none of which should be read as "exactly the way I think it will go down," but instead as "my extrapolations based on what I know." I am not Harry Seldon, and this is not Psychohistory. (look it up.)

I. On the way to Earth, the Cylons and the Humans will discover that their 2 very separate and distinct religions have a definitely common ancestry, and each side will realize that their enemies are people and deserve consideration, and they will destroy one another regardless.

II. In the real world, when the American empire eventually ceases to be, I think that New England will be the part of the country in the best shape to thrive with no federal government to look after it.

III. In the real world, when the oil runs out, or has become so rare and expensive that there is virtually no shipping business, and everyone is forced to "go local," New York City will be abandoned within months.

IV. The whispers in the jungle on Lost seem to be people watching the action and commenting on it, sometimes urging characters to do certain things. This and the amount of very rich and powerful men in the lives of all the characters leads me to believe that the island is a game into which these rich men send their loved ones and their enemies to play through the story. The men of course place bets with each other, because it's a sport for them. Remember what Ben muttered to himself when Alex was shot: "...he changed the rules."

V. On Deep Space Nine, when Starfleet lost control of the station and had to abandon it to the enemy, they sabotaged the whole command station and wiped all their files. Something very similar will happen when Bush leaves office. It boggles the mind to think of all the e-mails they'll delete, the documents they'll shred or burn. Wonder if they'll do it so history won't know how bad they really were, or just to avoid prosecution. It doesn't matter, because it's only a matter of time after 20 Jan 09, someone will come forward with a story the Justice Department won't ignore. Wonder if any of it will actually touch Bush or Cheney? Probably not; Karl Rove is a good enough scapegoat. His "permanent republican majority" is not so permanent after all, and with his friends out of power, no one will protect him.

VI. People who will die before the end of the story: Sirius Black, Desmond Hume, Michael Dawson, Juliette Burke, Severus Snape, Laura Roslin.

21 May 2008

"No, I'm fine," said Harry, wondering why he kept telling people this, and wondering whether he had ever been less fine. "I've got a plan worked out, I-"

16 May 2008

The kid never had a chance

Coletta factor: Superman, Harry Potter book 3

No one likes to be pigeonholed, told who they are and what they are. For adults, it's annoying and troublesome when you come across another grown person who has such a limited perspective that they can only see one use for you, one side of your Self. When that happens to us, we wonder about ourselves and the image we present to the world. What about when it happens to a kid? Superman's long-time archnemesis, Lex Luthor, is an evil genius, always hatching some scheme to destroy Superman and take over the world, indifferent to the cost in innocent life. But how did he get that way? The current retelling of the Superman legend offers a theory. Lex was a spoiled rich kid, son of the most powerful man in the state. Lex's father Lionel came from the depths of Suicide Slum, that most wretched hive of scum and poverty. He dragged himself up by means of an arson scam which killed his parents. He rose to wealth and power by being ruthless and indifferent to anyone's interests except his own. He raised Lex to be a business man, taught him always to look for an angle, a way to turn the situation to his profit. Lex was not loved so much as trained. Everyone knew who he was and what his father was like, and assumed he was his father's son, and he was, in many ways, but there were numerous times when Lex's genuine offers of help or genuine expressions of affection were rebuffed as being part of some scheme or another. Everyone who met Lex was on their guard because, well, he's a Luthor, you know what the Luthors are like. Even his friendship with the virtuous farmboy Clark Kent, and the trust of Clark's parents, which he had to work hard for, even the love of the beautiful Lana Lang, were not enough to tell him that he could be anything other than his father's son. He was told so often that he was a bad guy that he believed it. He betrayed everyone who ever trusted him, his own father, even. (Lionel would do, and did, the same to Lex.)

Which brings us to Draco Malfoy, the boy in the picture at the top of the post. Now, mind you, I don't know the end of Draco's story. I only know him as an arrogant, spoiled and spiteful schoolboy. But what kind of wizard will he be? What kind of wizard can he be? Like Lex, Draco's family name is feared, hated, maybe respected in some small circles, but not trusted. Lucius Malfoy is a vindictive wizard, a man who joined forces with the most dangerous Dark Lord Voldemort when it was advantageous for him, later, only after Voldemort's fall, claiming to have been coerced. The Malfoy family is pure-blood, all wizards, and they believe that this makes them better somehow than muggle-born wizards, whom they derisively refer to as "mudbloods."
For those of you who don't know, Hogwarts is divided into 4 houses, each named for one of the founders of the wizarding school, and each child is sorted into one house or the other by the Sorting Hat, which is placed on his or her head on the first night they arrive at school. The children are placed in the houses based on certain aspects of personality, which the Sorting Hat, being magic, of course, can see. Ravenclaw is the house for the most clever children, Hufflepuff is for Children who are brave and true. Gryffindor is for the bravest, and it is the house where the heroes of the story reside. Slytherin House is for those children who exhibit ambition and cunning. It is said that Salazar Slytherin, one of the 4 founders of the school, hated "mudbloods" and that he wanted to purge Hogwarts of them altogether. Of course, none of the others agreed with him and cast him out, but most Slytherin children even now tend to be purebloods. What happens to young Draco, who at 11 years old is already a terrible kid? Is he going to be pigeonholed, or will he be given a chance to show that he is not his father? Is it right in an educational atmosphere to put all the kids with selfish and hateful tendencies together and encourage the mindset? Doesn't every kid deserve the chance to be a good person?

Look here at young Draco, 11 years old, first night at a new school, called up to the front of the Great Hall to be judged by the Sorting Hat in front of all his peers:

And not even upon touching his head, did the hat yell, "SLYTHERIN!"

11 May 2008

let's play 'funny not funny'!

For those of you who have never played, 'funny not funny' is an easy and fun game. I show you something, then you say if it's funny or not funny. Ready?

09 May 2008

There is no rule 6!

Coletta Factor: Lost-current

We saw Daniel's missile, coming from the boat, apparently jumping ahead 31 minutes in time, landing on the island. We saw the doc's body go overboard on the boat, where it somehow travelled a day back in time and washed up on shore. Every communication between the boat and the island is instantaneous, no delay. If there were a "time difference" between the island and the rest of the world, the satphone calls would either be impossible or would likely take hours due to the delay. It is more likely that whatever barrier exists between the island and the real world, when it is crossed by any but the exact right heading, will send objects forward or back in time. It is anyone's guess whether the Swan's implosion is responsible for these properties of the barrier. It is possible that the Swan was the only thing keeping the whole island from being unstuck in time, like Billy Pilgrim and Bruce Willis in 12 Monkeys. It is also possible that the barrier always had wonky temporal proclivities, and the Swan's destruction had little to no effect on it. But for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. What were the effects of the Swan's implosion? The sky turned purple, for pete's sake!
And what about Christian Shepherd, the alcoholic father of Jack and Claire who seems to have left his problems back in the real world. I wonder how he felt when the Red Sox won the World Series? Christian is alive, and he speaks for Jacob?
And Benjamin Linus, brought low by his daughter's senseless death. Ben used to have dreams, until he found out there are consequences to being chosen.
And John Locke, fulfilling his lifelong destiny, walking the path that's been laid out for him, saving the island.
And what about me, little old me? My roof is not leaking, not anymore. I feel your curiousity and see the path ahead of me. I'm free....

05 May 2008

List #42: Kurt Vonnegut's 8 rules for writing a short story

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

04 May 2008

list #23: people whose death I remember (or should)

Graham Chapman
Charlie Pace
John Belushi
Alex Rousseau
Lady Di
Jadzia Dax
John Lennon
Charles Foster Kane
Richard M. Nixon
Cedric Diggory
Ronald Reagan
Kurt Cobain
Len Bias
Tip O'Neill
Tupac Shakur
Frank Sinatra

02 May 2008

list #16: some books I have read recently

The End Of America: a letter of warning to a youg Patriot, by Naomi Wolf
The Kin Of Ata Are Waiting For You, by Dorothy Bryant
Living Lost, by J. Wood
Stephen King:
The Regulators
Needful Things
Catch-22, by Joseph Heller
World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, by Max Brooks

list #15: an incomplete list of my favorite villains, in no particular order

Ben Linus
Brother Cavil
Lex Luthor
Gul Dukat
Mr. Burns
Freddy Krueger
Cigarette Smoking Man
Ann Coulter
Boba Fett

list # 8: movies I have bought, but not yet watched

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Masters Of Horror: John Carpenter
The Descent
The Fisher King
Lost In Translation
Great Expectations
various multi-disc B-movie horror collections

list #4: movies I have enjoyed recently

Taxi Driver
Into the Wild
Star Wars (The original theatrical version of the original film, natch.)
Battlestar Galactica: Razor
Harry Potter 1-4

My horoscope

September 22 - October 22The day doesn't begin until you clear your head and take stock in some pending personal issues, dear Libra. You might be making mountains out of molehills. Realize that there is a path for everybody. It will be powerful but won't do any good. Keep your power under wraps. Concentrate more on the more mundane tasks that need to be done. Why not make a list?

Just as I was thinking to write about how worried I am right now, I read this. I may be making mountains out of molehills, in fact, I usually do. Most of my mountains are molehills, but all the same, there is a path for everybody. What about that? What about when you need someone's help to walk the path? Are you, am I, bold enough to ask for help? But I can't worry anymore tonight. I have to trust that the Almighty Whatever will take care of me, and the people I love. So I'll make a list instead. Maybe I'll make a few, but the first one is a list of the mundane tasks I did today:
swept and mopped floors
took the trash out
walked to another store to pick up much-needed supplies
brewed coffee
made drinks
dusted shelves
carried milk
wiped stuff off
filled empty things
cleaned dirty things
ground coffee